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Stay Alive Lyrics - Artist : MacDonald, Tom
Last night I couldn't fall asleep without an Ativan
Today I woke up anxious, having a battle with panic attacks I couldn't look at my reflection in the bathroom And I smashed every mirror, now the crib is full of shattered glass Now I'm sittin' in the ruins reading comments From people who don't like me, surrounded by sharp objects Been makin' fun of people for bein' weak and too sensitive But I feel like I might kill myself from reading all their messages A former alcoholic, I ain't drank in a bit But I got non-alcoholic beers stacked in the fridge I've been fightin' with my girlfriend 'bout every little thing Google Mappin' the directions that'll get me to a bridge My dogs know I've been fighting 'cause they never leave my side But I don't wanna make 'em sad, so I don't let 'em see me cry I can feel 'em staring, I can't look 'em in the eyes 'Cause I'm scared that they'll know I wanna die I have bad days but they don't see me cry And when it all comes down, these haters save my life Now on a bad day, I'll never take my life I gotta outlive all my enemies who stay alive Last night I told my dad I'll keep it a hundred If I wasn't feelin' well, I wouldn't secretly struggle Looked up the Suicide Hotline and wrote down the number Then I hid it in the cornflakes box in the cupboard I could probably pay my rent, erase the debt that I've been gettin' in With half the money I spent on depression with this medicine I got a debit credit dedicated to my sedatives That's keepin' me alive and not in heaven or a skeleton I'm lyin' 'bout eatin', I dump my food in the garbage I lie awake for hours, swear that I feel retarded In the morning I pretend that I wake up to alarms 'Cause I don't want my girl to know that I just cry in the darkness I'm posting on the Internet, pretending I'm a stable dude Suicidal thoughts, faking like I'm in the greatest mood Threw out all the razor blades, I hit myself and make a bruise Nova cooked me breakfast, I can't eat and it's my favorite food I have bad days but they don't see me cry And when it all comes down, these haters save my life Now on a bad day, I'll never take my life I gotta outlive all my enemies who stay alive Dear world (Dear world), I've been tryin', but I'm tired I know that I'm a person millions of people admire Tell my parents that I love them and my fans I ain't retired But I can't keep standin' strong with both my feet in the fire I ain't sorry for the music people said was offensive I don't apologize for nothin', if I said it, I meant it To everyone who wished that I was dead 'cause my record's Outliving y'all, saved my life from an ending I have bad days but they don't see me cry And when it all comes down, these haters save my life Now on a bad day, I'll never take my life I gotta outlive all my enemies who stay alive |
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